Who do you turn to?

[teanyrican]

I know the majority of people here are in great shape, but for the few of us that are still struggling to lose weight (or at least myself), things tend to get exhausting.

 

It's hard to turn to my family; my mother has days when she's supportive, but she lets her favorite shows and her job become excuses for avoiding working out. I know that's her business, but it all seems so much easier when you have someone to work out with.

 

Then there are those days when I feel like a fat unattractive creature. And I'm getting tired of running to my boyfriend, crying because I can't a toned size six over night. Part of me thinks he's pretty tired of me running to him, too.

 

So, who do you turn to? Let me reword this -- Who do I turn to when I have those moments of self-doubt?

I can come here and bitch about it, but this doesn't seem like the kind of place to whine and moan and let negativity get the best of you. Besides, I don't think I'm going to get the advice I'm looking for... just a lot of "no pain, no gain" kind of talk.

 

I normally don't let it, but today I just feel down.

 

Sorry.

Edited May 24, 2006 by teanyrican

[dorothy]

Have you tried posting something at the gym, or maybe your work. When I first strated going to the gym by myself, my husband started to notice I was looking and feeling better, so he joined in. On somedays he didn't feel like getting up @ 4:30 AM to go workout. So I would start to get dressed and go by myself, when he realized I would go without him, he first called me a bitch then he got his fat ass out of bed and joined me. 11 years later, I'm still a size 7 down from size 22 and my husband loves to go to Hot Topic and buy me stuff to wear. Before I got rid of the weight he never knew my size.

NO MATTER WHAT >>> YOU KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK !!!!!

[teanyrican]

Have you tried posting something at the gym, or maybe your work. When I first strated going to the gym by myself, my husband started to notice I was looking and feeling better, so he joined in. On somedays he didn't feel like getting up @ 4:30 AM to go workout. So I would start to get dressed and go by myself, when he realized I would go without him, he first called me a bitch then he got his fat ass out of bed and joined me. 11 years later, I'm still a size 7 down from size 22 and my husband loves to go to Hot Topic and buy me stuff to wear. Before I got rid of the weight he never knew my size.

I don't work currently, and I don't go to a gym, so no.

My boyfriend does work out with me, but I only see him on the weekends.

Congrats on being a size seven.

[Odidnetne]

I learned to not be supportive of anyone (in real life anyway, posting before/after pictures here can be good support). As negative as that may sound though, it works. No one in my family is really supportive of what I'm doing because I'm smashing stereotypes like it's nobody's business. My mother constantly nags on me about how I'm not getting enough protein, as I eat a big bowl of Lentil Soup right in front of her.

 

In my experience though, there's not that many people who are supportive of people trying to get fit, out of jealousy or whatever else it might be, but just keep at it, the results should matter to you most, and you should be most supportive of yourself.

 

Where in Jersey do you live by the way?

[teanyrican]

I live in Roselle.

[MontanaVegan]

I don't think anybody minds if you come here for a vent and a little support.

Lack of support from friends and family can be difficult.

Nobody in my family supports my dietary choices, they do support me losing weight.

I've had voice mail left saying they missed me and I'm probably out having a steak or something.

I told an uncle that I've eliminated animal products and processed foods.

His response: "your a vegetarian, that's sick"

He probably doesn't know what a vegan is so I didn't correct him.

He takes cholesterol, blood pressure, and acid reflux pills, who's sick?

I've had friends say they think that I need more animal protein in my diet.

 

I hope you can find local friends for support, until then just keep coming here.

Even then, don't stop coming here.

[compassionategirl]

teany,

 

Please dont feel like you cant come here and just vent, rant or blow off some negativity or tell us that the world sucks for you today.

 

We all have those days. In fact, I am having a freakin WEEK of feeling down, really stressed, hating the world, etc etc etc. Hence my rant in the work related stress category - if I didnt post that I think i would have seriously had a nervous breakdown.

 

Anyway, please dont let those kind of days get you down and permanently derail your efforst. Understand that changing your body will not happen overnight. I know you know this already but you have to keep going even when you think you are getting nowhere.

 

you WILL achieve your goals. And we will be cheering you on every step of the way.

 

I have always hated working out with other people, cuz people generally annoy me. I like putting my cd player on with some nice loud music that gets me to that "zone". Do you not enjoy working out to loud music?

 

Also, I dont cant recall your routine but remember that if you want to change the shape of your body, weight lifting is key. Cardio alone wont do it. And need that calorie defiicit (sorry if this is stating the obvious to you).

 

Vent anytime.

[wannalift]

you should always feel that you can turn here for support. i would suggest though that it is yourself that you are going to have to ultimately confront. it is natural to have doubts about yourself, but its you overcome those doubts that is going to build true character. hard work pays off and good things take time. you are on the right track, just stay on it and find your inner strength.

[offense74]

I agree with Odidnetne. I've lost 50kg all on my own.

You won't get support for being a vegan. Most people consider it not living a full life. To break stereotypes (i.e. being vegan, losing weight in an intelligent manner, etc) is to be alone. You can group up sometimes with likeminded people put through most of it you have to do it by yourself. In the same manner you get to pluck the fruits of your efforts. When you run a marathon at 50 while your friends get heart attacks it's your investments in yourself that is paying off.

[teanyrican]

MontanaVegan: Thanks so much.

 

I'm sorry that your family isn't supportive. It took a long while for mine to become so. And still, they are sometimes thick-headed about it. My mother went vegan recently though, so food isn't as much of a problem in the house as it once was. That made it easier to eat better.

 

Now I just need a buddy to work out with or vent to (and of course one that can vent to me). A real support system, you know? I even have an account on Exercise Friends and have made attempts to meet new workout partners, but they've all fallen through.

 

Again, thanks for the response.

 

compassionategirl: Thank you for letting me feel welcome to express myself.

 

I know everyone has their moments and days, but I hate having mine so publicly. It's one thing behind a locked blog, and even then I don't like doing it. But it's good to know that I can without being judged by some people. I'm sorry to hear you're having such a bad week and I hope it improves vastly, especially by Friday (so you can enjoy the weekend if it's possible).

 

I love working out to loud music, and most of the I do. Either that or I dance. It's just some days it's nice to have company because I spent most of the day by myself (that'll change by Thursday since I'm returning to school, however.)

I do very little weight training, but I have been doing more toning exercises -- crunches, dips, push-ups, pilates, etc. As soon as I can find access to them, I intend to do some weight training.

Thanks so much. That really did help.

 

offense74: Congrats on your weight loss. I lost 50 lbs on my own. It wasn't by choice, but I did it and I never complained.

 

I'm not looking for support for being a vegan. I've been vegan for a few years now, and I know how that goes, trust me. My veganism has nothing to do with what I wrote. My problem was I was having a bad self-image day, and I felt as though I had no one to turn to, and no one who understands what it's like to feel like something you're not.

I'll tell you one thing, I'm taking this line and writing it in my meditation journal:

You can group up sometimes with likeminded people put through most of it you have to do it by yourself. In the same manner you get to pluck the fruits of your efforts. When you run a marathon at 50 while your friends get heart attacks it's your investments in yourself that is paying off.

[Guest]

Don't concern yourself with weight so much...alot of it may be water or muscle. I'm 125lbs lighter than my heaviest and its getting hard to get that last 20 off but I know I"m stronger. I weight the same but every week my clothes are a little looser and I'm not gonna go to a scale because I know it will say the same thing. I'm waiting unitl its obvious that I'm under 190...I'll way in and see how close I am to 180. My intentions are different than yours(I wanna lose weight even if its muscle) but the mindset is somewhat similar...I also don't turn to anyone because everyone misses the old me...the didn't when I was 240 but they do now. Don't weight in...the scale is the worst diet consultant you can have.

[teanyrican]

Thanks for the advice.

[Kathryn]

www.videofitness.com has a forum that I visit daily. There are people there from beginner to advanced exercisers (mostly who work out at home to videos/DVD's like me!). There are check-ins and challenges that we use for motivation, a general discussion forum, and lots of support and motivation. (No diet talk, though, which is sometimes frustrating).

[teanyrican]

Thanks.